Timothy
February 1, 2018
There are few people that I call good friends.
I think a lot of of it has to do with the fact that I’ve never really been good at being a friend to another male adult. I have a hard time connecting with my gender on a personal level, especially the American variety. When I’m around other guys I find myself wondering why the hell they are talking about what they are talking about. Not always but often, I can sit there, somewhat quiet considering how it’s possible to have so much to say about a subject that really amounts to nothing in my mind. In the midst of these conversations my mind just floats away until someone yanks me back down from whatever cloud I’m floating away on, back down into the depths of a massive discussion about what brand of power tools are better. Or the Superbowl. Or MMA. I just don’t care.
I’m not saying I’m above these conversations and their perpetrators. In fact quite often I feel the exact opposite. I sit there, deep in the throws of a full-blown bro-convo (brovo?), feeling stupid and inept at not having anything insightful to add, thereby left with no way of tightening the emotional tethers connecting me to another male human therein creating what normal humans call “a friendship.”
Every once in a while though someone breaks through to me. Such was the case with Tim, who was one of the first people I met when we moved to Santa Monica. Conversation was fluid and came with a degree of ease I didn’t know was possible. Our world-views were very similar as was our family situations. We both worked in “the industry” and had a similar appreciation/disdain. It was a total bromance and it continues to this day.
Now I won’t bore you with many details suffice one important one. Of all the qualities I could praise in my friend, I would say that Timothy is the best father I’ve ever met. He is loving and caring at the same time as being consequent and impactful. He balances his frustration and his praise perfectly and I often find myself standing in awe of both how wonderful he is with not just his own children but how wonderful he is with all children.
A few weeks back Tim and his two kids showed-up at my house, totally out of the blue. He told me that Elliot had facetime’d him a couple hundred times asking him to come over for a few rounds of “Let’s Dance 2018,” on the console. After an hour of singing at the top of their lungs and presumably dancing until they were out of breath, everyone emerged from Elliot’s room, horse, sweaty and completely danced-out. We all said our goodbyes and I caught Tim in a tight embrace (that maybe lasted a little too long) just as he was trying to get out the door. We broke, shook hands and smiled. “Thank you” I said.
He’s one of the best men I know. Shot on my Leica M7 on Kodak Tri-X film, pushed +1 at the Icon.